Alright, I am going to try and explain some things to you guys so I can bring you up to date on my situation. (i.e. why everything has gone to Hell). You all remember Nathan.. the awesome guy I was dating. Well you guys, he was so great.. I mean totally whipped. All his friends would tell me how he talked about me all the time, and I dunno he was just so incredibly sweet. Ok so I haven't let myself fall completely for a guy since Justin. That's why I handled the break up with everybody else so well. But for some reason, I just fell completely for Nathan. That's how much I loved him. I *never* trust anybody, but I had actually begun to gain trust for him becos he was so intent on keeping me around (for example, he wanted to get me pregnant so he wouldn't have to worry about losing me.. yes, that serious). Then one night, he had told me that he'd be over at my house as soon as he finished cleaning his truck out at Corey's. However.. he never showed up. So at about 3 AM, me and Heather went through town and we saw him getting out of Magee's truck with a bunch of people, so we went on home cos I figured he'd be there in a matter of minutes. But now, I laid awake and cried until 5:45 becos he didn't show up.. and he had never just not shown up. Anytime he was even going to be late, he called or left a note. So I woke up at 6:00.. becos we were supposed to go to Shreveport that morning.. and I drove over to Corey's. His truck was there and the door was open. I went up to the house to tell him and as soon as I knocked, he opened the door. And inside were him, Doug, Corey, and 3 hoes. Girls, I have NEVER been so devastated in my life. It's one thing to hear that somebody cheated, but to see it with your own eyes is so crushing. So I pulled him out of the house and I went off the chain. He kept trying to hug me and apologize and say that he didn't have a phone to call, that he was with Magee all night, and that those girls were with Corey. But I wouldn't believe him. I have never seen somebody grovel as much as he did.. he had the fear in his eyes. And I told him to trade our systems back.. cos we had traded speakers but kept our own amps. And he said he'd do it later. So I went home. Then I thought.. I don't want him to have the chance to blow my speakers so I called him and told him I wanted him to switch them out. He kept asking why I didn't believe him and ended up hanging up on me. So I drove over there and I forced him to come outside and switch them, so he did. And he asked me to play a song to see if they were working so I played that song "You jerk, you jerk, you are such a jerk, there are other words but they just don't work." and he flipped me off. Then he went out to his truck, took the necklace I made with our names on it off of the rearview mirror, opened my door and threw it at me. I jumped out of my car and chased him to the door and asked what his problem was. It was then, he admitted that he got high and drunk that night. He still claimed he hadn't cheated, but he said he got high and drunk. And I asked why and he said "I just couldn't handle it anymore.. you were too much." And I just walked away.. and I cried ALL day. That's the day we picked up John's friend from the airport and all day long I laid in the backseat of the car and cried. I have never been so hurt (well maybe over the Justin stuff, but that was a long time ago). So that night Andy told me he'd get me drunk so I'd not think about it. So ok, here goes: I drank this stuff called a Green Python, and after my second one I was a bit tipsy. We were riding around town and I was yelling hello to everyone. When we went back home, I said I needed another and Andy said I had to finish that one first. So I gulped it down, then I puked everywhere.. but I still held out my cup and said "Make me another" so he did. Well while he was making it, we were inside and Casey and Josh asked Heather if she wanted to get high. She said sure and she asked me, and I didn't even know what I was agreeing to so I said ok. Well were passing around a joint and they were all "You need to take a bigger hit" and Heather said I took a HUGE hit and her and Josh's eyes got huge cos they thought I couldn't handle it and they said I never even coughed. Ok so eventually I had drank the last drink and we were in town. Nathan had been seen with the little ho all night and finally I pulled over next to his truck (or rather John, cos he was driving) and keep in mind.. all night I had been flipping all these people off, and cursing at them and ugh.. enough. But Bitchney's little friend came over and said "Britney wants to know if you want to fight her" Hell, I would have if I would have known she was 17, but somebody had told me she was 15. So I said "No, I just want to know what happened." and Sumer said "Well, last night Nathan told Britney he didn't have a girlfriend and they were kissing." so I said "Ok, well tell him to come here." so he did. And I don't remember ANY of this, but everyone else told me what I did. I looked at Nathan and said "Sumer just told me what happened. She said you kissed Britney." and he said "Yeah, so?" and I said "But you told me you didn;t. Why did you do it?" and he said "Cos I was high." and then I said "Nathan... f--- you. John, let's go." And as Nathan just stared in shock, we drove away, and I held it until the end of the street when I broke into screaming tears. It was SO awful. And she is SO ugly. Yet so scared of me, she is still scared I am going to jump her. So now a month later, me and Nathan are talking again. Which is yes, an entirely different story in itself that I need to post later. But I just wanted to let you guys know how things got terribly out of hand. Bye bye for now.