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im a loser baby, so why dontcha kill me? [02 Jun 2006|01:09pm]
[ mood | busy ]

yeah so i really need to start updating this thing. unfortunately, there is no time now. if i start then i will get carried away then i'll be late for class and our stupid teacher will take off 10 points a day. INHUMANE! i shall return.

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blah [14 Apr 2006|03:00pm]
hey I am still alive, and I am single again. Surprise, surprise huh!? Not really. Anyways, I'm still slaving away at school trying to finish in August. I think the only thing keeping me going (besides a lot of unhealthy material) is the desire to get out of this God-forsaken town!!! At first, the new rumors circulating about me pissed me off. But now, I just think they are funny. But it's still annoying and I wish people would find better things to do. Peace!
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Hello hEllo heLlo helLo hellO [03 Jan 2006|03:44am]
[ mood | lonely ]

I don't think anybody even reads this anymore seeing as how I only have 3 friends on here. =( But if you are still reading.. I AM STILL ALIVE SO LEAVE ME SOME DAMN COMMENTS. Ok have a lovely day!

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what up [25 Dec 2005|01:26am]
ok all these posts are extremely old so you don't have to read them. but if you are genuinely interested in my life, www.xanga.com/thatjuliagirl
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-;-ZzZzZZzz... [10 Mar 2005|09:10am]
[ mood | cowboy, take me away. ]

I am struggling to keep my eyes pried open. I had an 8:00 class this morning and now I am waiting on the 10:00 class to start. It was our first day of Tuesday/Thursday classes so we got out early. I think this quarter might be a little bit easier cos going everyday makes the days shorter and gives me more time to do my homework. Plus, it drags me out of bed every morning at a decent time, whereas if I was off on MWF again I would be sleeping in until 2 each day. Steph, you need to just completely redesign this journal for me. I think you are the one who did it last time..except that was a couple of years ago. These are the classes I am in this quarter:
1. Algebra for Management and Social Sciences
2. Physical Geology
3. Legal Environment of Business
4. Computer Tools for Business
They sound a lot more complicated when I use their proper titles. Well I must be going off to get some homework done. Peace-;-

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-;-Back by Popular Demand [09 Mar 2005|10:00pm]
[ mood | school is draining. ]

Ok so it's been a really long time since I've been here. I believe the last thing I posted was that my period was late.. and now I have a 5 month old baby if that tells you anything about my absence. I don't have any time to write anything right now. I just wanted to be sure that my journal was still on here. I'll be back tomorrow. Peace-;-

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xx when will it end [03 Aug 2003|01:19am]
[ mood | distressed ]

I am not going into detail cos I am tired of it. However, I will leave you some reasons my life has spiraled downward in the past 3 or 4 weeks.

. nathan moved to alexandria for a job
. my best friends moved an hour away for guys
. i was completely alone
. people started crap saying nathan had cheated on me
. every weekend he came home we fought
. one night he pushed me out of my own house
. the next day he broke a window
. we broke up and me and his sister drove him back to alec
. i decided to move to texas
. i was leaving that weekend
. i had even turned in a notice at work
. nathan came back up here, quit his job, begging me to stay
. i was stupid
. i stayed
. we were all good till he had some friends over
. i was at work
. they smoked weed at my house
. one of them got caught later with it and ratted everyone out
. the cops got a warrant for my house, found seeds, and arrested me
. i almost lost my job
. my grandparents took away my car
. i had to move out of my house
. nathan has to admit to the weed being his to get the charges dropped against me
. i have a bad feeling he won't do that
. i am having a terrible time finding a place to live
. im off tomorrow so i planned to stay with nathan at corey's house
. corey's sister tripped and kicked EVERYONE out
. (including some of the roommates who pay some bills)
. now nathan has absolutely nowhere to go
. we're fighting so he refused to stay here with my family
. if the charges arent dropped, my trial is sept 2
. i will have a year on probation
. and i don't even smoke weed anymore
. my dad's side of the family has disowned me
. it hurts
. and this is the big one:
. my period is 2 weeks late


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[03 Aug 2003|01:19am]

Which Personality Disorder Do You Have?
brought to you by Quizilla
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[10 Jul 2003|10:41pm]
You represent... angst.
You represent... angst.
You have an extremely cynical outlook on just about
everything. It's okay to sulk and be
depressed, but life is short, and you only get
one. It's only what you make it, and only you
can make it improve.

What feeling do you represent?
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[10 Jul 2003|09:49pm]
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xx What drug are you? [04 Apr 2003|02:51pm]
You like to talk,
you like to run,
but most of all you like to have fun.

Which drug should you be hooked on? [now with pictures]
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xx I'm back.. somewhat [04 Apr 2003|02:28pm]
[ mood | okay ]

Alright, I am going to try and explain some things to you guys so I can bring you up to date on my situation. (i.e. why everything has gone to Hell). You all remember Nathan.. the awesome guy I was dating. Well you guys, he was so great.. I mean totally whipped. All his friends would tell me how he talked about me all the time, and I dunno he was just so incredibly sweet. Ok so I haven't let myself fall completely for a guy since Justin. That's why I handled the break up with everybody else so well. But for some reason, I just fell completely for Nathan. That's how much I loved him. I *never* trust anybody, but I had actually begun to gain trust for him becos he was so intent on keeping me around (for example, he wanted to get me pregnant so he wouldn't have to worry about losing me.. yes, that serious). Then one night, he had told me that he'd be over at my house as soon as he finished cleaning his truck out at Corey's. However.. he never showed up. So at about 3 AM, me and Heather went through town and we saw him getting out of Magee's truck with a bunch of people, so we went on home cos I figured he'd be there in a matter of minutes. But now, I laid awake and cried until 5:45 becos he didn't show up.. and he had never just not shown up. Anytime he was even going to be late, he called or left a note. So I woke up at 6:00.. becos we were supposed to go to Shreveport that morning.. and I drove over to Corey's. His truck was there and the door was open. I went up to the house to tell him and as soon as I knocked, he opened the door. And inside were him, Doug, Corey, and 3 hoes. Girls, I have NEVER been so devastated in my life. It's one thing to hear that somebody cheated, but to see it with your own eyes is so crushing. So I pulled him out of the house and I went off the chain. He kept trying to hug me and apologize and say that he didn't have a phone to call, that he was with Magee all night, and that those girls were with Corey. But I wouldn't believe him. I have never seen somebody grovel as much as he did.. he had the fear in his eyes. And I told him to trade our systems back.. cos we had traded speakers but kept our own amps. And he said he'd do it later. So I went home. Then I thought.. I don't want him to have the chance to blow my speakers so I called him and told him I wanted him to switch them out. He kept asking why I didn't believe him and ended up hanging up on me. So I drove over there and I forced him to come outside and switch them, so he did. And he asked me to play a song to see if they were working so I played that song "You jerk, you jerk, you are such a jerk, there are other words but they just don't work." and he flipped me off. Then he went out to his truck, took the necklace I made with our names on it off of the rearview mirror, opened my door and threw it at me. I jumped out of my car and chased him to the door and asked what his problem was. It was then, he admitted that he got high and drunk that night. He still claimed he hadn't cheated, but he said he got high and drunk. And I asked why and he said "I just couldn't handle it anymore.. you were too much." And I just walked away.. and I cried ALL day. That's the day we picked up John's friend from the airport and all day long I laid in the backseat of the car and cried. I have never been so hurt (well maybe over the Justin stuff, but that was a long time ago). So that night Andy told me he'd get me drunk so I'd not think about it. So ok, here goes: I drank this stuff called a Green Python, and after my second one I was a bit tipsy. We were riding around town and I was yelling hello to everyone. When we went back home, I said I needed another and Andy said I had to finish that one first. So I gulped it down, then I puked everywhere.. but I still held out my cup and said "Make me another" so he did. Well while he was making it, we were inside and Casey and Josh asked Heather if she wanted to get high. She said sure and she asked me, and I didn't even know what I was agreeing to so I said ok. Well were passing around a joint and they were all "You need to take a bigger hit" and Heather said I took a HUGE hit and her and Josh's eyes got huge cos they thought I couldn't handle it and they said I never even coughed. Ok so eventually I had drank the last drink and we were in town. Nathan had been seen with the little ho all night and finally I pulled over next to his truck (or rather John, cos he was driving) and keep in mind.. all night I had been flipping all these people off, and cursing at them and ugh.. enough. But Bitchney's little friend came over and said "Britney wants to know if you want to fight her" Hell, I would have if I would have known she was 17, but somebody had told me she was 15. So I said "No, I just want to know what happened." and Sumer said "Well, last night Nathan told Britney he didn't have a girlfriend and they were kissing." so I said "Ok, well tell him to come here." so he did. And I don't remember ANY of this, but everyone else told me what I did. I looked at Nathan and said "Sumer just told me what happened. She said you kissed Britney." and he said "Yeah, so?" and I said "But you told me you didn;t. Why did you do it?" and he said "Cos I was high." and then I said "Nathan... f--- you. John, let's go." And as Nathan just stared in shock, we drove away, and I held it until the end of the street when I broke into screaming tears. It was SO awful. And she is SO ugly. Yet so scared of me, she is still scared I am going to jump her. So now a month later, me and Nathan are talking again. Which is yes, an entirely different story in itself that I need to post later. But I just wanted to let you guys know how things got terribly out of hand. Bye bye for now.

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What kinda kiss are you? [03 Apr 2003|01:07pm]
You have a surprise kiss! Your partner is always
pleasantly pleased to have you jump outta no
where to dote them with a fun peck on the cheek
or more passionate embrace. super markets and
work places are your favorite places to attack
your loved one with all your love =p

What kind of kiss are you?
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::it's been a while:: [03 Apr 2003|12:56pm]
[ mood | depressed ]

You guys, I am sorry I have been away for so long. I have so much to talk about that it's insane crazy. I promise I will start updating more often as soon as my computer is fixed. (I'm at the computer lab at school right now) Me and Heather moved out becos John is going to move to Oklahoma. Me and Nathan ended up breaking up cos he cheated on me.. with an UGLY ho. Well after like 2 months, we decided we wanted to try again.. but I am not so sure. Becos I found out he's been fklsjdklajsducking a major slut.. and he was all "Well I don't like her.. she's just a ----" And I was completely in shock becos he was never like that before. And I dunno, all his friends have said he acts completely different now, and nobody understands what the deal is. But if we do work things out, a lot of stuff will have to change becos it is virtually impossible for me to trust him now. (He is one of those people who thinks it isn't really cheating unless you sleep with somebody else) And besides that, he's only 16 so I never can really trust what he says he feels. It's been so confusing you guys. And I miss James incredibly but he got kicked out of school so he's living in Texas again. I didn't realize how much I'd miss him until he was like 500 miles away. =( And I keep having dreams that I have a baby.. and half the time in the dream I realize that i already had another baby and it got put up for adoption without me realizing it.. so somebody interpret that for me. Hm, I've also skipped a lot of school lately and realized that i skipped an exam so I am going to have to concoct some major excuse about why. And blah.. I have done so much wrong lately.. as far as skipping too much school.. getting drunk.. getting ::tear:: high. I feel at a complete loss again but I am handling it much better than I did say 2 years ago. Of course, maybe I am not handling it better, just handling it in different ways. Ahh well, that's a whole other post. Write to me you guys, it's: thatjuliagirl@yahoo.com I will try and post each time to I make it to the lab but it's gotten so busy lately, I am not sure how often I will make it. I love you girls.. byebye

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Which Anime Character Are You? [22 Feb 2003|07:55pm]
You're A Villian!
You evil person, you. You have a dark side to you.
Your destiny is world destruction/domination.
Just so long as those pesky heros stay out of
your way.

What Type Of Anime Character Are You?
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it's been too long [22 Feb 2003|07:45pm]
I am just going to try to bring you guys up to date. Sorry I am never online. My computer is broken right now.. and my roommates are always on the other computer. But here is what has happened so far:
. in the middle of January I moved back here to Jonesboro
. me and James broke up cos we thought the distance would get to us
. we were friends until he became God's gift to woman (in his opinion)
. I was dating a guy here named Jason, same age as me.. but he was a psycho (calling me, accusing me of cheating all the time) so we broke up after a week
. Now I am dating a cough16cough year old (hey, he'll be 17 in June) who ROCKS. He is into X-Games.. cool stuff like that. He wears Hurley shirts and Etnies shirts all the time ::drools:: AND he has shaggy blonde hair (like, past his ears) and he always wears a beanie over it with the ends curling at the back of his neck. HE IS SO CUTE. Oh yeah, and his name is Nathan. We have been dating for almost 2 weeks and he loooooooves me =) I will have pictures as soon as possible.
. I changed my major to Health Information Managament becos art was something I liked more as a hobby, and this way I can work in a hospital without having to deal with the blood and stuff like that
. I got my belly button pierced a few weeks ago cos my friend got her toungue pierced at the same time
. Mmhmm well that is all I can think of right now that seems pretty important. But I PROMISE as soon as I get over here to my grandparents again, I will post. Siigh I have so much to catch up on =*(
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What Tragic Shakespearean Heroin are You? [02 Jan 2003|12:47am]
* Which Tragic Shakespearean Heroin are You? *

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. free verse by yours truly . [29 Dec 2002|12:44am]
. constantly dreaming
. abysmal dreams
. of naming constellations hand in hand
. with the one i'll never have
. of hearing him whisper
. words that will never be whispered
. into these ears
. of staring into the eyes
. that won't stare back into mine
. of letting go of the hand
. which i never held
. life is an abysmal dream
. of unattainable wants
. of inescapable depths
. a dream
. from which i will never awaken
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where did your soul originate? [28 Dec 2002|10:47pm]
Where Did Your Soul Originate?

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what's my problem these days? [20 Dec 2002|02:19pm]
[ mood | crazy ]

I can't seem to keep from tripping out. I don't knwo where I want to go or what I want to do. All I know is that I want to get as far away from Louisiana as possible. I feel like I'm being smothered to death here. I feel like there's this invisible hand holding my head down. I CAN'T BREATHE. I feel like I've been rinning for the past 3 years. No matter where I go, these feelings are still going to be there. Now I understand why people commit suicide. Sometimes it's all just too overwhelming. It gets to me at night. I do a lot of nocturnal thinking I guess. I bet there are more suicides on rainy days. Rainy days always do a good job of explaining how I feel on the inside. But why now. Why do all my feelings have to surface at once. and especially right in the middle of the quarter. I wish these feelings would go away. I should be happy. It's the Christmas holiday season. This time of year used to always cheer me up. But now I think nothing can help me. I need a freaking punching bag. A bag better than a person. I need something to let my anger out on. I feel cruumy for the way I've been treating James lately. I'm such a horrible girlfriend.

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